I am Loving,
I am gracious,
I do the work
To be spacious;
Inviting demons that lurk,
No matter how audacious.

When someone does wrong
To those with whom they belong,
Is it best to leave them forsaken?
Could it really be possible for someone to learn
From the times they were grotesquely mistaken?
Is there genuine potential to earn
Trust after all that once was, was reduced to dust?

What exists within me
That allows me to perceive
You existing in this state?

What do I see
And believe
That is cluttering the slate?

What do I accept about reality
That subsequently
Leaves us bereaved
And unable to relate?

What could be
If I allowed myself to grieve
And before lashing out, hesitate long enough to contemplate?

What if the key
To relieve my suffering, conceive of, and receive the love and lifestyle I please
Is choosing my values and not a vague concept of fate?

What is more of a priority,
To dismiss reconciliation and restoration as naive,
To cultivate mistrust, resentment, and hate-

Or do I want my priority to be
To graciously offer reprieve
That they may learn and translate-

Mistakes and fuck-ups into a thing of beauty,
So they can achieve
And create?

I am Loving;
I am gracious.
I am growing,
I am tenacious.
I don’t always know where I’m going,
But I keep moving
When life is hellacious;
Perpetually improving.

What is forgiveness?
Am I willing to give this
Person an opportunity
To wound me?
To ruin me?
But what if this leads to greater unity?

What if others bear witness
Within our community,
Would it create a collective immunity,
Having connected and grown from collective scrutiny,
Elevating each other through intentional
Carefully considered impunity?

Though it may not be conventional,
I would rather stay true to me;
With my feet on the ground,
Accurately understanding the gravity
Of circumstances that surround,
So a creative solution could be found;
So we can be okay if they come around.

I am Loving.
I am gracious.
I understand
Previous expectations have been fallacious.
Growth is what I demand,
So I withstand the growing pains to expand;
Because our finite time is too precious and sacred to waste this
Moment, energy, and attention trying to chase this
Vengeance, and retribution that is no longer advantageous.
Instead, I seek a revolution of resolution;
And spread love like it’s contagious.

I know to vulnerably love is undeniably courageous.

Whether feelings are painful or pleasurable,
I am learning to embrace this.
Whether or not my progress is measurable,
No comforts could ever replace this.
No exquisite misery
Could ever be too outrageous,
No vulgarity of graffiti
Could make me wish to erase this.

I know who I am;
Damned,
To my conscience.

Compassionate wisdom
That is from
Life experience
Is leading me,
Despite my conviction being fleeting occasionally;
But I always bounce back with my tenacity.
Some might call it pig-headedness,
But I’ve got one shot for an optimal conclusion and I won’t let it miss.

I am Loving.
I am gracious.
I practice embodying my best
Self on a daily basis.
I continue to be impressed
By our ever-improving homeostasis.

That which we value defines the characters we play;
And with every new day
We can reinvent our embodiment
With what we do and say.
Beliefs can liberate, stimulate,
Or trap us in a perceptual cage;
But when all the world’s a stage,
You can break a leg
And get in the cast,
To make connections and memories that last;
That couldn’t have been experienced if clutching on to the past.

The lights are dimming, time to get to our places,
Remember that life goes through many scenes and phases.

You can rewrite the script;
And update your stats
To be better equipped
To live a life you are proud to live in,
To be that person whether or not you are forgiven,
To hold enough space to allow love
To cradle and rise above
The betrayal, disappointment, and grief that crushed us.
Though seared by the sting of tears wept for one whom I once revered,
I still believe that restoration and grace mirrored
Is the better objective for justice.

I am Loving.
I am gracious.
I am kind;
Increasing my patience.
I am who I have designed;
Living with my lifestyle and values congruently aligned.

This does not mean all is forgiven;
Only that I am contributing to the existence of a world I’d prefer to live in.

9/27/2020

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