I’m getting the fuck over you;
I’m following through,
Like you asked me to,
Like you said you wanted me to.
But do you realize you blew
Up almost every possibility
For me to be
Present for the promise we
Made together about the end of your life?
How am I to be there for the end of your life if we are no longer life partners?
You selected a path that takes you farther and farther
Pushed me away and said I’d be fine;
But it’s not fair;
Because I am still committed to being there
In your final moments before an infinite goodbye;
Washing your sacred body and hair for the last time as a reverent act of worship before you die,
Will you choose her to replace me in that role too?
Will you not allow me the honor and privilege to hold you
As your final breath
Finally releases you to the painless abyss and endless stillness of death?
Will you allow me to fulfill this vow,
Even if I never figure out how
To get the fuck over you?
Even if our paths are separate
Up until the point that your existence is desperate
And meet your fate?
I beg of you.
Please make me one promise you will never change your mind on;
Please gift me the opportunity to finish what I signed on;
Please, please don’t leave me behind on
This journey through existence
And deny me the sanctity of being included in your deliverance. …
Over the bowl,
Growing my soul,
Panic drives me
Dispel this emptiness
Clawing and gnawing within.
There was so much that could’ve been done to prevent this.
Here I am; disappointed again.
There is nothing to heave;
For I have struggled to eat.
Nor is there anything to relieve
This incessant void in its attempt to devour me with jaws of defeat.
In this moment
I am alone;
Suffering in my torment,
We cry out for our home,
When life is too terrible and scary,
Who we lean on and carry,
Who’s persistence we thought would ne’er grow wary.
Now, all we had and once were will be buried.
Our paths divide and merge and are greatly varied,
But you chose to spend your time elsewhere.
Which is completely your right,
No one should control when you choose to be here or there.
But you chose this knowing I would ache and cry out in the night.
You told me who you are
Is inseparable from her. …
There is heat in freezing.
I used to think I was weak or depleting;
Too little to be worth greeting,
But it is not that I am not good enough to be heating.
I am the heat in freezing.
I am enough.
I am a scarce resource
That no extraction could force.
I am the barrier, buffer, and boundary
And absolute zero.
I am what I create in my foundry.
There is nothing you can do
To be my hero,
Because I am the heat in freezing. …
The ocean appears in many hues
Sometimes varying shades of blues,
Sometimes deep as wine,
Oh, so divine.
Like you have ever seen,
Sometimes dazzling aquamarine,
It is a warm gray.
This deep, transparent charcoal
Has me under its control.
Contrasted against the white
Waves’ foam so bright,
I just might
Stay here all night.
My spirit soars,
Like the many-a birds taking flight.
My mind adores
The thrill when no land's in sight.
The constant movement
Beneath and all around me
Is an improvement
From the stagnation that used to surround me.
There is a natural attunement
That astounds me.
I long for the waters who sent
The calling for my heart and found me.
Clouds of all textures
Laze about in the sky.
My inner monologue lectures
As I ponder why:
Why is there such beauty in this monochromatic abyss?
Why am I so captivated by the ocean mist's kiss?
Why can I not spend most days doing this?
Why is the rocking that causes sickness
To some folks a current that I miss?
Why do I feel as though the ocean is my ancient mother?
Why do we humans pollute and destroy its health as if there's another?
Why do we not recognize this Loving Leviathan- when can I again, return? Learn
With the depth, breadth, and width to encompass life,
To create life,
To soften and seep into the rigidity of earth's stone,
To nourish and enable greater existence to flourish,
To create the rain that allows all that has grown
Who could resist
Why are we surprised to reap what we have sown?
Why do we balk at the consequences when we are the ones to forsake and disown?
Why do we deny and continue to exploit then bemoan
The ripple effects from what we condone?
Why is it that I never feel alone
And that writing this poem is the only time I look at my phone? …
Squirrels bark a hazy, unintimidating growl,
While hummingbirds chitter merrily out of sight.
Late November is known for weather that is dreary and foul;
but today the sun shines warm and bright.
Animals are fluffing up for the winter:
Their dens, their fur, their wiggly body fat.
Those flocking South and settling down beginning to splinter
from one another, the birds, rodents, and neighborhood cats.
We humans are no different,
Primping and prepping for the season-
We are animals after all-
Liking to think ourselves advanced in intelligence and temperament,
Whilst verbally and emotionally assaulting one another over the “true” reason
For the obligatory festivities, traditions, and calls. …
Disclaimer: This piece of fiction contains depictions of abuse, sexual assault, violence, and human trafficking. This could be potentially triggering and is not suitable for sensitive readers. This is a work of fiction, but if you are or know of someone who is being trafficked/suspect someone you know is being trafficked, please
Call: 1 (888) 373–7888
Text: 233733 (Text “HELP” or “INFO”)
If you are, know of, or suspect child abuse, please visit https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/responding/reporting/how/ to learn how to easily report it.
A young woman in tight shorts and a low-cut tank top stuck out her thumb along the highway as a pair of headlights crested the hill and shone against a blood-red sunset. She slung her backpack on and grabbed her duffel bag as the car slowed to a stop near her. They rolled down the passenger window and the woman saw a younger couple- seemingly in their 20’s- with what appeared to be their first baby on the way. …
My eyes drudge open, blinking several times before locking into unison. How am I here? When did I arrive at my ex’s apartment? I never felt safe here. I shiver, recalling memories of abuse; feeling them pass around and through me. But this is different… I sense immediate danger. Why do I feel like someone is watching me, following me? How do I know they are trying to kill me?
I walk out of the dining room and towards the living room when I notice… I don’t know whether to say it or him. It is an oddly proportioned humanoid, head excessively large and ready to burst, body hunched over and disfigured like in the ableist description of Mr. Hyde. Its feet are puffed out with fat. The torso, chest, and arms are shrunken. It is small; noticeably smaller than my 5’2 frame, with most of the volume being made up of the exceptionally horrendous looking head. Rage seeps from its pores like an inescapable sludge. It is angry; intensifying a simultaneous implosion and explosion of incessant wrath. …